After watching the Netflix series Forever, I've been thinking about teen romance novels a lot. The show brought back a lot of memories of my own teen romances, and the anxiety of figuring out love and life at such a young age. Young adult romances have many of the same themes: coming-of-age, love, identity, and family drama, plus all the mistakes that teens tend to make simply because they're young.
The show also reminded me of an interaction with a parent of a teen I had recently. As an online bookstore, we tend to do pop-ups around the Phoenix, Arizona area where we sell books and other items in person. One dad, saw one of our books and was interested in it for his teen daughter, who was a senior in high school. He debated about it for a few minutes, and I told him about the book to help him with his decision. In the end, he said he didn't want to buy a romance novel for his teen daughter, he didn't want her to be thinking about relationships. As someone who proudly doesn't have children, I don't make a habit of debating parents about the decisions they make for their children, nor do I pressure customers to make purchases, so I let him be, and he left. I couldn't help but think about how 1. his teen daughter was probably already thinking about relationships, and 2. that book could've helped his daughter uphold high standards for herself when it comes to relationships. Something he most likely would have wanted for her. Let's talk about why.
Young adult (YA) books are important for teens because they help them work through the emotions they're feeling, and they show them that the experiences they're having are more common than they think. This is especially important for YA books that represent Black, brown, QTBIPOC (Queer Trans Black Indigenous People of Color), immigrants, children of immigrants, and so many more identities and experiences that teens are trying to understand about themselves. A coming-of-age story isn't truly coming-of-age if it doesn't explore the complexities of the identities and experiences that teens have and are beginning to understand and/or love about themselves.
Romance books receive a lot of unwarranted backlash, but they, too, teach valuable lessons. The most common argument against romance novels is that they're unrealistic, and we can talk about the misogyny of that statement, but that's an entirely different blog post. Instead, I think Kennedy Ryan once said it beautifully, in the She's So Lucky Podcast with Les Alfred, in my best paraphrase, women deserve respect, we deserve to be seen as equals by our partners, and we deserve to have our own ambitions. We're not settling for struggle love anymore, and romance novels, especially by Black women, remind us of that. They're a reminder that we deserve love that isn't conditional based on what we do for someone. While the romance literature industry is still heavily heteronormative, there are QTBIPOC romance novels that are doing the same.
YA romances combine the two themes from young adult and romance books to tackle identity, coming-of-age, and setting the bar high for the relationships we deserve. These are great lessons for teen readers. If I had a teen, I would want them to read books that show them that they deserve the world and not to accept the bare minimum from their partners, and I'd want them to learn that early. Because, although I may tell them these things, reading makes it more real for them.
So, yes, letting your teen read romance can be scary, and I'm not telling all teens to read 50 Shades of Grey, or the raunchiest of romance novels, because even though there's nothing wrong with those novels, and they too teach valuable lessons that we can talk about another time, the age a reader reads them is important. What I am saying is, young adult romances can be a great introduction to love, relationships, and coming-of-age.
That is all. Until next time!
Tre (Tree) | Owner, Onyx Oasis Bookstore
